A week into doing this apartment hunting thing in NYC and I wise up. It’s all about the laugh. It’s called fucking with the brokers. It’s best when you don’t have one yourself and you go ahead and bid directly to the seller’s. It goes like this:

7th phone call of day from seller’s broker.

“But you know that your offer is really low.”
“Yup. I do that. I made it especially so that it would be below the ask.”
“You know another one sold there in September for $XX”
“Right. That was in September.”
“There are other people interested.”
“I am sure there are. You need to realize that I will pass board approval. I am well employed, can put down the down and have no pets or attachments.”
“You know this really isn’t open for negotiation.”
“So why you talking to me?”
“Would you like to see some of my other listings”
“Sure, sweet cakes. Send me an email.”