6.6.06

A day that starts with you running into that guy you hooked up with the night of the NYC leccy blackout in August 2003 is never going to begin well. The mark of the beast indeed.

I have a whole lot of crap to get through so that my contractor can start putting things back into my apartment. He's pulled everything out and now it's down to me to start withdrawing cash and putting it infront of one of those big movie wind making machines and watch it fly, fly away little birds.

One thing we discussed last night was changing my gas meter which is old, ugly and big. And smells a bit gassy. We are planning on building around it. It's going to turn into a cupboard in my bathroom which will be held up by shelves of beautiful white marble onto which I plan on stuffing piles of condoms and packets of Depends. So I called ConEd and asked them if they could change it.

"Did you open a window?" she asked.

"Um no." I said.

"Can you open a window now?"

"Um. No. I am not there. I am at work."

"Well this is an emergency and I have entered an urgent work order into the system."

"What do you mean this is an emergency? I don't even live there. I just want to schedule someone to install a smaller, less ugly meter."

"You said "leak"".

"I said "might be a leak"".

"Right you said the "L" word."

"No. I said there was a possibility of the "L" word."

"It is in the system now. We have to respond to it as an emergency."

"I am at work"

"There will be someone there in within the hour."

"Can't we reschedule this?"

"No. It is in the system now."

"Do you have a super?"

"No."

"Well you need to be there then. They will be there within an hour. I mean they may be able to get in, but if you aren't there, they have to call the Fire Department."

"To break my door down?"

"Yes. I mean they may have a master key, but I doubt it."

"They will break my door down?"

"Yes. And charge you for it."

"Shit I better go then."

"Yep."

Anyway, as it turned out there was actually quite an aggressive leak. I watched how it blew bubbles on the seam of the meter. I am all shut down now until I have an oven in there to attach it to and then they will come again and turn me on. You know ConEd do this at weekends and all through the night. Good guys to know.