It's easy when you're big in Japan



Only I'm not apparently.

I always forget something. This time it was bras. Not such a big deal for me since technically I don't really need them but I thought hey I might actually be in a country where my size is generally in stock. Perhaps there are even some nuances here that take me into account.

So off I trundled into the shopping area of shinjuku-ku in search of something fabulous. Isetan certainly is that. I have finally got used to the shouted greeting and the constant bowing. Well, nearly anyway. Certainly keeps my greasy fingers from touching the suede in the handbag section anyway. These perfect ladies make me feel like a huge hulking sweaty smelly oaf.

I was fascinated by the Ladies Black Formalwear section on the third floor. They even have a question and answer book as to how to dress and beahve like a perfect blackclad doll. Small bag, polite shoes, hat, gloves and pearls. It's a level of demure I could never attain and seeing these ladies and their poise I am jealous. But really though I just want one of them in my house, silently gliding about, fixing my tea and giving me a foot massage. Oh and smelling nice. Which they all do.

The purchase of a perfect Japanese style ladies formalwear dress later, I headed up to lingerie. I didn't even have to jab around looking lost for a millisecond before an assistant appeared and slapped her tape measure around my braless torso. I am a 75A in Japan. That's like the smallest cup size but the largest width size. And then a LARGE in anything else. It's just not fair. Lovely assistant lady then scooped up numerous bras and showed me into a changing room which was decked out almost as lavishly as my hotel bathroom. Well, half as lavishly.

Once I had the bra on she came back wearing white gloves (which everyone seems to here) and then fitted me properly, tidying away numerous folds of flesh and oh so politely. Fab.

I had to buy two. Mainly because she was so nice but also because they were just so kawaii. She's studying English. When I left she almost put her head on the floor. It's quite exhausting all this politeness.